Breaking the silence on sexuality, Sr. Nkechi Iwuoha challenges the African Church to educate and engage its youth on sexual ethics, fostering open dialogue and guiding them toward lives of integrity and faith in a rapidly changing world.
Breaking the Silence on Sexuality
In many African communities, conversations about sex are often avoided. The topic remains taboo, tucked away behind cultural and religious barriers. Sr. Nkechi Iwuoha addressed this issue during the 12th African Palaver Synodal conversation, boldly speaking about the prevailing silence. “Many people on the continent shy away from discussing sex,” she stated, highlighting a reality that persists across Africa. Whether in urban or rural settings, public displays of affection are frowned upon, and discussions on sex are rare, even among families. Traditional African religions, Christianity and Islam, have long influenced this reticence, shaping how sexuality is perceived and acted upon.
But, Sr. Nkechi warns that this silence is unsustainable in today’s rapidly changing world. “Sexuality in Africa has taken a new turn in the post-colonial mélange,” she points out. The continent is witnessing a sexual revolution, where previously forbidden sexual attitudes are becoming more visible. The Vatican’s recent declarations have only added to the confusion, and for many Africans, like Cardinal Fridolin, these declarations feel like cultural imperialism. With this backdrop, how can young Africans find their way?
Forming Young Africans on Sexual Ethics
Sr. Nkechi believes that the solution lies in formation—educating the youth on sexual ethics. She advocates for a space where young people can openly discuss healthy relationships and critically assess their sexual behaviour. “We need to help them understand, evaluate, and critique interpersonal relationships and sexual activities from social, cultural, and philosophical perspectives,” she says. This formation is not just about religious doctrine but about addressing the real issues young people face today—questions of marriage, polygamy, and the influence of technology on pregnancy and family life.
Breaking the silence on sexuality is crucial. Christian sexual ethics, according to Sr. Nkechi, offer a framework that guides young people to express their sexuality in ways that are “good, true, right, and just.” This approach also helps to break down the long-standing cultural barriers that prevent open dialogue on these topics.
The Role of Peer Pressure and Community
Another critical point raised by Sr. Nkechi is the influence of peer pressure on young men, particularly in shaping their sexual behaviour. She refers to a study conducted with Black male students in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, which found that “socialization agents such as the family, peers, and community play an important role in prescribing acceptable and unacceptable sexual behaviour.” This underscores the need for a community-driven approach to sexual ethics, where families, religious leaders, and communities all work together to guide the youth.
The challenge, however, is that those responsible for this guidance—parents, pastoral agents, catechists, and church leaders—often lack the necessary knowledge and comfort to discuss these topics. Sr. Nkechi emphasizes the importance of educating educators, stating, “We cannot give what we don’t have.” Only when these leaders are well-versed in matters of sex and sexuality can they effectively guide the younger generation?
A Communal Act of Discernment
Sr. Nkechi concludes with a powerful call for spiritual transformation. This education on sexual ethics is not merely academic; it’s about listening to the Spirit of God and engaging in a communal act of discernment. “It means listening deeply, responding to the Spirit of God, and affirming a shared sense of God’s desire,” she says. In this way, the formation of young Africans becomes a shared journey, where both youth and adults participate in understanding and living out God’s will for their lives.
In these unprecedented times, the African Church must rise to the challenge. Silence on matters of sex and sexuality has done enough harm. The time has come to engage in open, honest, and informed conversations that will guide our youth to live with integrity and faith. The question remains: are we ready to break the silence?
