I will be attempting to summarize ๐ป๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐๐จ๐๐๐ – A Fแดแดษชษดษชsแด Mแดษดษช๊ฐแดsแดแด ษชษด Fษช๊ฐแดแดแดษด Sแดษขษขแดsแดษชแดษดs of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I am going to resume each number, in few sentences, as I understand it. It is not a question of analyzing the text here. I am just going to give the reader an opportunity to discover this beautiful text.Here are the two major guidelines to feminism according to the author:
1. ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐บ: ๐ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป’๐ ๐ถ๐บ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ฐ ๐๐ผ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฎ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฝ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป.
๐ฎ. ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป-๐ช๐ผ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐พ๐๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ผ๐น๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฟ๐๐น๐ฒ: ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ท๐๐ฑ๐ด๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐น๐๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐ป๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐น ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฒ-๐ฏ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ.
๐. โ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐๐๐จ๐๐ช๐ค ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐ ๐ฆ๐ฃ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ฅ ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฃ
It is necessary first for you to accept all it entails to be a human being. Always give your best but do not be afraid either to ask for help or accept you do not have an answer to the situation at hand. Remember that every responsibility in the house is not on you. As you look for answers to all day-to-day household challenges, do not forget your desires and happiness.
๐. ๐ป๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฃ – ๐๐ ๐๐ฅ ๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ – ๐๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐๐ ๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฃ
Do not take all the responsibilities of caregiving on your shoulder. Let your husband play his role. His contribution to the family up keeping should not be seen as some help but his parenting duty. Raise your daughter together and please do not be preoccupied with his not being able to do it as you could. His love for your baby is enough to accomplish the rest.
๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐ ๐ฆ๐ฃ ๐ป๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฅ ๐พ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ฅ ๐ โ๐ ๐๐
Her objective should be to develop herself as an individual and not just as a girl. From very early moments of her life, teach her to explore her limits. She should know that her limit, in life, is boundless and that she is not obliged to conform herself to the moulds the society makes for girls.
๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ช๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ก๐ฅ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐
Neither should she see her right as a privilege not her subordination as complementarity. Let her not feel that a man is gentle just because he does not step on her toes. Whatever cannot be seen as a privilege when she does it to a man is not a privilege when it is done to her.
๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ค ๐ ๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐น๐ ๐ ๐๐ค
Take every measure within your reach to make her form the habit of reading. Even though she should ordinarily learn to read by seeing you read, pay her to do that if need be, for in good books lay the secrets to her success in life.
๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ค ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ
Make sure she forms the habit of questioning words, languages and even praises that are addressed to her. Let her know that she should not just be appreciated for being a woman. Let her instead aspire to be appreciated and judged on her just measure.
๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ฅ
She should not condition her development to marriage for she is not defined by it. And even when she gets married, she should remember that marriage should not change her identity.
๐ . ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐-๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ช ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ช ๐๐ค โ๐ ๐ฅ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ฅ๐๐ ๐
She should know that nothing obliges her to seek to be liked and accepted by everyone. She should just learn to be kind, gentle, brave but she has every right to express her mind whether her points of view are accepted by others or not.
๐ก. ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ช ๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ โ๐ฃ๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ ๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฅ๐ช
She should not be afraid to be Igbo, an African and a black. Give her every opportunity to discover who she is, her history and culture. She should, however, learn to embrace the positive aspect of her culture and refute every wrong norm of her society.
๐๐. ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฅ๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ช ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ธ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ช๐ค ๐ ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ธ๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐
She should have alternative approaches to sports, clothing, hairstyles, role models and lifestyle. Encourage her to practise different types of sports. Let her choose what interests her most in fashion both in her choice of hairstyles and dressings.
Avoid associating dressing codes to morality why addressing her. Be also sure to make it a question of taste and attractiveness. Surround her with good models to help her from her personality.
๐๐. ๐๐๐ง๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฝ๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ โ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ธ๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ โ๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ค ๐ฅ๐ ๐น๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ช
Teach her that the biological arguments that are usually used to justify men’s superiority over women are ill-conceived and misogynistic. There is nothing that proves the norms in which men have a right of ownership of the child or men’s promiscuous as just normal if not a wrong conception of biology.
๐๐. ๐พ๐๐ง๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ช ๐ผ๐๐ฃ๐๐ช
She should know herself enough to the extent of having the right words to discuss her sex life and sex in general with you. Avoid making her feel ashamed of discussing her sex and her body. She should know not to associate sex with shame but also not to ignore the emotional and physical consequences associated with it.
๐๐. ๐ผ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ก โ๐๐ฃ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ค ๐๐๐๐๐ค๐ค๐๐ฃ๐ช ๐ฅ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ฃ๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ค ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ
She should know what love is and the best way to realize that is by initiating her to self-discovery and relationship. Teach her that love is a mutual relationship between two individuals demanding each member to give oneself and receive the other. And that in marriage, she is not subordinate to the man but will bear in mind that it is a relationship of giving-and-taking.
๐๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฃ๐๐ค๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ ๐๐๐จ๐๐ช๐ค ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ค
Let her know that not because women are mainly oppressed by the society that they are all innocent. And that being a woman does not make one a better pair in the society. This she should know because women are human and therefore are constituted of good and bad ones.
๐๐. ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐๐ค ๐ธ๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ป๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ผ๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฅ๐๐๐๐
You should teach her to embrace differences as normal and nothing extraordinary. There must always be the raison d’être of each difference. She should also know that her universe is not the standard of judgement and her cultural background and values are just but among many others.
