To my Nigerian friends, before you propose to a lady, make sure she is willing to marry you. Discuss it, even if it’s indirectly. You cannot just surprise a young lady who never thought of spending her entire life with you—in public (of igwe mmadu)—and expect her to run after you. No, it does not work that way! Girls have their say in such an important decision.
And to girls, if someone is showing you some interest in marriage, and you are not into it, do not hesitate to let him know. Do not build any fake hope in men. This also applies to men too. Never build any fake hope in women. Don’t pretend to be in a relationship you are not into. If the two of you are just spending some time together, let it be clearly known.
And, please, ladies, do not accept any proposal you don’t want, just to satisfy someone or to avoid embarrassing the person. It is a lifetime event. Do not do it just because everybody says you should consider the guy. No! If you do not want it, and he didn’t allow you to let him know you don’t want it, walk away with your head up, even if he decides to roll on red oil. You are not an object to satisfy the public interest.
Remember that you can’t accept it Live on Facebook and go away to tell others it was not true. It might tie you down and force you to explain yourself to all your future admirers.
And, to young men, you know you might not be obliged to surprise a lady in the public counting she will accept you. She has her convictions. It’s not because she is your friend that she is automatically your future wife.
At least discuss it first, or simply don’t do it. No law says you have to make your proposal public. And no law says you must accept a proposal because it was done in public. Do it well, or just don’t do it at all. If not, be ready to see your proposal turned down, for girls have the right to say yes or no to any proposal.
